No matter what event you're hosting,
we can help.

Below you'll find some of our ideas for the basics, plus some helfpul reminders.

Place Settings:

For easy and eco-friendly place settings, why not try birch bark? This time of year it’s not unusual to find loose birch bark on the ground when walking in the woods. Pick up a couple handfuls, and use the narrow part of a pen cap to write your guests’ names on it. Easily biodegradable at the end of the night!

The next time you host a dinner party, consider placing a small potted plant at everyone’s seat with their name card tied around the pot with a pretty ribbon.  You can write care instructions for the plant on the back of the name card.  This makes a great favor that makes a positive green impact.

Menu Display:

I’ve long seen empty wine bottles reused as flower vases and candle holders, and I recently came across something different really cool. You can turn your empty wine bottle into a chalkboard!  By spraying them with chalkboard paint (I did not know this existed) after removing the label, you have a surface you can write on with chalk, which is great for displaying a menu during a dinner party or acting as an unusual centerpiece.

Favors:

J and I hosted an engagement brunch last year for his brother and his now wife, and for favors, I planted paper white bulbs and painted the pots with a stripe of green, one of the colors of their wedding.  I was thrilled with how easy and inexpensive clay pots are to work with, and I highly recommend using them for your next party, whether as a favor, centerpiece, or place card.  If you don't want to use paint, chalk works well, too, and while flowers or bulbs are an obvious choice, you can also fill them with candles, fresh flowers, sand, or really anything else to fit your theme.  Go to a bulk floral supply shop for the best deals.

A few gentle reminders

A gentleman always:

• Holds the door.

• Helps a woman with her coat.

• Stands when his date comes to or gets up from the table.

• Offers his seat on the bus or train to any woman or older man.

• Walks on the curbside of the sidewalk.

• Walks slightly behind his date through a crowded room or restaurant.

• Refers to people as Mr. or Mrs. unless told otherwise by that person.

A gentleman never:

• Passes up the opportunity to send flowers.

• Curses.

• Loses his temper.

• Brings his cell phone to the theater.

• Spits or picks his teeth in public.

• Drinks his cocktail through a straw.

Last Christmas, as a gag gift, I gave J a copy of How to be a Gentleman, by John Bridges.  It has turned out to be quite a gem of a book, which I enjoy as much as he does.  Here are some of Mr. Bridges’s suggestions:

• “When a gentleman outgrows his clothes, he gives them away to charity.  He does not pretend that someday he will lose weight. When, and if, he does lose weight, he certainly will not want to celebrate by wearing out-of-date clothes.”

• “A gentleman attempt to change the opinions of his dinner companions.  A seated dinner is not a debate tournament.”

• “At the dinner table, a gentleman helps the woman to the right of him as she sits or rises from her chair.”

• “A gentleman knows that ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ are still the magic words.”

• “A gentleman always carries dollar bills in his pocket.  He never knows when he may need to tip a doorman, a maître d’ or a parking attendant.  He even carries a few extra singles to lend to other gentlemen or ladies who may be caught unprepared.”

• “A gentleman considers it a wise investment to pay for dancing lessons."

Also:

• Remember my father’s “Four B’s”—Break Bread Before Buttering.  Do not butter the entire piece and then bite in.

• Place your napkin on your lap once you sit down.

• Wait to eat until everyone is served and the host has lifted his fork.  If it’s a large crowd, the host may encourage those who have been served to start without everyone else.

• When there are a lot of forks to choose from, start from the outside and work in.

• If you’re not sure which bread plate or water glass is yours, use my mother’s trick: place your hands in your lap and make the O.K. sign with your thumb and pointer finger.  Your left hand makes a “b” for “bread” and your right hand makes a “d” for “drink.”  Your bread plate is on your left and your glass is on your right.

• Do not practice the “boardinghouse” reach (which, incidentally, I thought was “boarding school” when I was growing up and couldn’t imagine why boarding schools encouraged such poor behavior) of reaching across your neighbor for food.

• If someone asks you to pass them a plate of food, do not take your portion first.  Pass it and then ask for it back.

• Do not cut your salad.  If you’re the host and making a salad, be sure to tear the lettuce small enough that your guests aren’t tempted to cut it.

• Keep your elbows off the table.

• Do not stack plates when clearing the table.  It can damage the plates.

• When carrying plates off the table, heed my grandfather’s advice and mind your thumbs.

• During any dinner, you should not watch TV, answer the phone, or sing.

• Show restraint when you’re a guest in someone’s house.  Do not take the last of anything—hors d’oeuvres, dessert, etc.

• As the host, offer to send leftovers home with your guests.

• Engage the person on your left and right in conversation.  Do not interrupt others.

• Try one bite of everything on your plate before deciding you don’t care for something.

• Taste your food before adding salt or pepper.

• If the salt and pepper shakers look similar, remember pepper shaker has fewer, bigger holes and the salt shaker has smaller and more holes.

• Do not discuss religion or politics or anything too depressing at dinner unless you’re among close friends.

• If you are dining out, tell your server about any food allergies to avoid sending food back.

A big thank you to Vamp Robin who sent the following hostess tips:

• When you order wine, the cork is meaningless. Don’t try to smell it or squeeze it or anything.

• When you set a table, the tines of the forks should always be level and the spoons and knives should be lined up at their base.

• Because soup is a beverage, it should be cleared and served from the right.

• Coffee and tea should have their handles at 4 o'clock

• The wine glass goes above the point of the dinner knife.

• Wine should be poured on the right and only refilled if approximately two sips are left.

The following tips come from Life’s Little Instruction Book, a gem of a book I recommend to everyone:

• When dining with clients or business associates, never order more than one cocktail or one glass of wine.  If no one else is drinking, don’t drink at all.

• After experiencing inferior service, food, or products, bring it to the attention of the person in charge.  Good managers appreciate knowing.

• Don’t undertip the waiter just because the food is bad; he didn’t cook it.

Charity

The next time you host an event--whether it's in your home or not--think about adding a charitable aspect to it.  For example, I recently went to a potluck dinner where the host asked us to bring, in addition to our dish for the dinner, a few cans of food for a local food pantry.  Last Christmas for our tree-trimming party, Josh and I asked people to bring ornaments to donate to a local family and children's charity.  It's a great way to give back while having a good time.

Nigella's Tips

This is inspired by an article by Nigella Lawson that I tore out of Allure back in July 2003!  It has really stuck with me.  She gives five pointers, which I'll list and expand upon in the ways I've come to interpret them over the years:

1. Keep the glasses full:  Whether you're serving just beer and wine or have an open bar, it's important guests be able to refill their glasses as they want.  If you're not fortunate enough to live with a former bartender, it's easy enough to have things out for people to help themselves.  The absolute easiest thing is to make one "special" cocktail and serve that along with wine and beer.  It can be kept in a pitcher or bowl so people can help themselves.  Goddess (a nod to Vesta!) Ann wrote that she likes to serve Martha's Southern Comfort punch, a link to which is here: http://www.marthastewart.com/recipe/southern-comfort-punch  Lawson, in her article, suggested Pomme Pomme, which is apple schnapps, apple juice, sliced apples, sparkling water, and ice.  And don't forget to have seltzer water, lemonade, or iced tea on hand for your guests who do not drink.

2. Serious snacking: Lawson points out that people who are drinking need heavy food--a girl after my own heart.  Some of my favorites that require no prep, are wedges of cheese, dishes of olives (be sure to have an ashtray or other small dish for the pits!), nuts with mixed dried fruit, and herbed salami with mustard.  Lawson recommends crumbled wedges of Parmesan cheese, which pair nicely with Granny Smith apples or chorizo, or you can drizzle honey on top of it and serve it as a dessert (a trick I learned on an incredible vacation with one of my best friends and her family in Tuscany--they used Pecorino, but Parmesan is not too far off).  For more time intense (but easy!) recipes, please see this week's recipe section.

3. Add some color: Lawson writes, "Food can be decorative.  Nothing's more beautiful in summer than blue bowls filled with shiny red cherries."  I try to use glass serving dishes where I can--often using big wine or martini glasses to hold colorful crudite--for this very reason.

4. Get the party started: Always recruit friends (or if your parents are close by and your party staples, your parents) to come over early to help break the ice when guests start to arrive.  That way if you're still running around the kitchen with your apron on, no one will mind.

5. Don't be too entertaining: Lawson writes, "My mother would have one really strong vodka before the party began and then not drink anything else.  I think that's very wise."  As do I.